Big Little Bully

 

This is not a happy post.  I’m writing today about bullies.  There has been a lot in the news about how some children have been bullied over the years and how it all ends so badly for the victims.   I can almost guarantee that most of you readers have been bullied at one time or another in your life ……….. right?  How did that make you feel at the time?  How did it impact on your life, now that you’re grown up?   For me, my first bully was in grade 7 – Joe was a school bully to nearly everyone – the kind of guy who had failed at least once and had a ‘following’ of other boys with low self-esteem.  He happened to sit right behind me in English Literature.  He was constantly pulling my hair, poking me, making rude comments, etc. and the teacher either turned a ‘blind eye’ or just didn’t care anymore.   Well one day during a lesson on the ‘7 Years War’ I had enough and I turned around and punched him square in the nose.  I don’t know who was more surprised, him or me!  It was quite unlike me.  He never bothered me again but went on to continue to torment others.  That was almost 50 years ago………….. things have changed today.  I wouldn’t encourage anyone to ‘stand up’ to a bully with physical violence – the victim would likely get into more trouble than the bully!   And cyber-bullying, well that’s a whole new realm……..Fungus On Stump

Many school boards and provinces have taken a stand against bullying as well.  BUT my own 9 year old granddaughter is a victim of a bully at school!  It began several years ago when she was 6 years old…….. 6  Y E A R S   O L D !!!  How is it possible for a child that young to be bullied by another child just as young?   How is it possible for teachers and the principal to be aware of this problem for YEARS and acknowledge that it is STILL happening……… and do little about it?!   Initially my granddaughter was bullied on the school bus and now it has progressed to outright physical attacks in the school playground right in front of parents and teachers!  The bully has been ‘reprimanded’ ……….. to a degree.  In the latest incident during a school track and field event, with teachers and parents milling around,  this bully kicked her in the ribs, pulled her hair, and shoved grass down her shirt!  Punishment:  well, the bully was not expelled!!  I want to add that my grandchildren attend a small school in the country not an inner city public school.

This behaviour is completely unacceptable in today’s society!   An Anti-Bullying policy is in effect in my granddaughters school yet it’s never implemented to the letter.   There is a deep-rooted problem with the system and the bully herself and I worry that if it is not helped NOW then this little bully will grow into a big bully/adult (to others and even her future family).  But most important, what about my granddaughter?  We can support her with loving words, caring encouragement to ignore the bully, and even continual meetings at the school about ‘bully incidents’ ……….. but it breaks my heart knowing that she’s growing up being bullied from such a young age!  😦

All for One and One for All!

All for One and One for All!

What’s a Grammom to do?  Writing this blog post helps.  Getting the word out  helps.  Supporting my granddaughter, my son, and daughter-in-law helps.  But I still feel helpless.  See, that big little bully is also making ME feel helpless!   Shame on that big little bully.  Shame on the school.  Shame on the school board.  Shame on a too-tolerant society.  It’s a real shame.

 

http://www.ocdsb.ca/com/SupportingourYouth/Pages/Anti-Bullying.aspx

http://www.ocdsb.ca/ab-ocdsb/p-n-p/Policies%20and%20Procedures/PR%20659%20SCO.pdf

 

 

 

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Just another day on the farm
    May 23, 2013 @ 11:43:40

    I’m so sorry to hear this, can she move school?, be homeschooled? Even if only for a year to take the pressure off, to allow the bully to not have access to her every day and have to hopefully find a way to deal with what are clearly issues in her own life? Where the heck are her parents in this?

    I was bullied a bit in school, we moved schools a lot when I was young, so I was always the odd one, the new one but my mom was the rule of, take no crap, and while I would have been taken to the wood shed for starting anything, I was expected to deal with it and deal with it right fast in a hard and yes physical way.

    I hear you about the bully behind you in school, grade 9 and I had blossomed into ladyhood and bra’s and there was one boy that though it was so funny to snap them, and I sat right in front, did it and then would be all what to the teacher, went home and talked to mom, he would do it to so many of the other girls in the class, we talked about it, and decided that the next and every time he did it to any of us, we would pick up our school book turn around and hit him as hard as we got on the shoulder.. lucky me, I was the first that morning, I hit him so hard, I knocked him out of the chair, teacher looks at me.. I explain that its a girl revolt on bra snapping!

    Only happened twice more, and it never happened again, the amazing thing was that while we only did it in one grade and one class, the whole 7-9 grades got much much better from it.. but now I would no doubt be the one sent to the office..

    Reply

    • grammomsblog
      May 23, 2013 @ 11:54:09

      Sorry to hear that you were bullied too Farmgal.
      My granddaughter’s bully has already had to move schools (into this one) because of similar behavior. I fully agree that this bully clearly has ‘issues’ in her own life that need to be addressed. My son and daughter-in-law have met with the parents as well as the school………… that’s another story.
      Full expulsion from the school for the bully is the only option I see. My granddaughter shouldn’t have to be further victimized by having to leave school and her friends there …….
      My son also attended this same school 30 years ago and moved there so his children could also go to this school.

      Reply

      • Just another day on the farm
        May 23, 2013 @ 12:27:28

        the strange thing is despite the issues had at the schools, I don’t ever remember feeling like I was bullied (as least not in the way I have heard others talk about it)

        I am sorry to hear that the other parents are not helping in this regards, and given they had to move schools, I am guessing that they are also finding this hard as well.

        hopefully something can be done at the school, if it has been determine that your granddaughter is going to stay in this school.

  2. Bet
    May 23, 2013 @ 15:40:18

    Oh sister… it breaks my heart to hear about my beautiful little great-niece being bullied… Something must be done!!!… and NOW!!… What is it with the administrators in this school??… Have these bullying incidents been reported to the higher-up officials at the Board of Education office?? It’s obvious that the bully needs counselling/psychiatric help… I truly hope the parents or the school see fit to get this help in place for little big bully… and it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea for my great-niece to have some counselling to provide her with some tactics/skills to handle this relentless situation??… Poor little sweetheart….

    Continue complaining… Don’t accept that the school is sweeping these bullying incidents under the rug… Threaten that you will go to the media… Somehow that seems to get action?? Keep on fighting this issue… Your grandaughter’s life is at stake here!!!

    (Perhaps a good punch in the nose is the only solution for this particular bully??…)

    Love Bet…xo
    P.S. Big hugs to K…xo

    Reply

    • grammomsblog
      May 23, 2013 @ 15:56:25

      Meetings with teachers, principal – done.
      Email complaints to Board officials – done.
      Strategies for dealing with the bully – done.
      Next ………… you can bet that the media involvement is on my radar.
      But school board involvement / counselling for the bully happens at a snails pace …………. and requires parental approval.
      Thanks for your concern – I’ll give K a hug from her Aunt Bet.

      Reply

  3. Andreah
    May 24, 2013 @ 12:48:00

    this has been eating away at us since Janet mentioned it and now to find all this out is just heartbreaking! Poor K breaks my heart made her uncle so mad he has been so upset for her since I told him all this yesterday!!!
    Send her big hugs from all of us…. my heart breaks for her she is too amazing and sweet to ever have this happen to her…. the public school board needs some lessons learned that’s for sure… makes me scared the older the girls get…. hopefully she doesn’t have to deal with this girl next year and the summer gives her a much needed and deserved break for healing… no little one should ever have to deal with this…
    That school has no idea who they are messing with A and D will do whatever it takes to protect K 🙂

    Reply

    • grammomsblog
      May 24, 2013 @ 13:08:21

      Grammom too………… I can just visualize it now: > Grammom protesting with a sign “Stop bullying my Granddaughter here” , walking back and forth along the road in front of the school (public property) when all the parents and buses are dropping off the kids. Oh and did I mention, I’d alert the media? <
      This Grammom's not shy about protesting: In my own way, I protested the Vietnam War, Nestlé's violation of the WHO Code of Marketing of Breast Milk Substitutes, inhumane birth practices in our hospitals, etc.
      In fact my favourite quote is by Margaret Mead: "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." I may not change the world, but this Grammom can try to change a few minds…… and stimulate the Board to apply their own anti-bullying Policy and Procedure.
      I love my granddaughter.

      Reply

  4. Andreah
    May 24, 2013 @ 13:37:37

    you are awesome!

    Reply

  5. df
    May 24, 2013 @ 22:45:18

    I was often bullied as a child, much as your first commenter was, for being new in town (we moved every year, in the middle of term, while I was growing up), and youngest, etc. I really feel for your granddaughter and your family, that’s a tough road to go down. I can only say a very heartfelt good luck. Your granddaughter has certainly got the best team on her side.

    Reply

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